On some days when Michelle and Cassandra visit their mom at The Gardens, Luther Manor’s Memory Care, they find her with a cloth in hand wiping down tables. Staff members tell them this is not unusual.
It’s just in her nature: Bobbie likes to help people.
It is something that she has been doing throughout her life, and though she has dementia, her kindness towards others has not faded.
Growing up near Clarksdale, Mississippi, Bobbie was raised a Christian. A strong faith and a kind heart continue to guide her life. Bobbie raised two sons in addition to her daughters. She provided caregiving for her aging mother for 11 years. Later in her life, she worked as a personal care assistant for other older adults who needed support with tasks like shopping and cooking. She helped others who needed it until she was in her 80s and needed some help herself.
A Lifelong Gardener
When Bobbie wasn’t nurturing others, she was nurturing her gardens — her other passion in life. It began at her childhood home, where she helped her family raise their own produce. Later, after moving to Chicago and then Milwaukee, maintaining a garden in her backyard came as naturally to Bobbie as getting out of bed in the morning.
Bobbie spent entire days outside tending her plants, some days so engrossed she would forget to eat. Nearly until the point that she moved to Luther Manor during the summer of 2023, Bobbie still mowed her own lawn and cut the hedges, always maintaining a manicured look.
Cassandra and Michelle were reluctant to move their mom into a long-term care community, but when they became concerned for her safety, they made the transition.
At a point, I was at my wits’ end, until I called Luther Manor and was told the open house at The Gardens was the next day. Once at the open house and meeting with key people, feeling the warmth, the individualized rooms, and that beautiful sanctuary of a garden, I felt a weight was being lifted.
For my mom, it was still rough sailing, but the family is seeing she’s settling,” Cassandra said.
Solace at the Sanctuary
It is no surprise that Bobbie has found some peace at The Sanctuary, the outdoor space connected to The Gardens. It is here where she can most fully be herself — doing the two things she loves to do — helping others and caring for a garden.
Created with fundraising help from Luther Manor Foundation, The Sanctuary is a 5,200-square-foot area that contains shrubs, perennials, and trees providing year-round color and interest. It includes a rebuilt pergola, a patio table and chairs, several park benches, a walking path, and cedar fencing that secures the space.
Bobbie waters the plants daily during the growing season and pulls weeds. She has planted flowers in pots the staff set up after she moved in. She loves being in the outdoor space so much that sometimes during the warm weather, the staff bring meals out to her, she told her daughters.
“Our mom has found her peace that’s carried her through many journeys in her life. When able to go out, the outdoor space — a place to be with God, to receive peace and tranquility, to feel serene and fulfilled — is a sanctuary. At some point, our mom will be a blank slate, but her character lives on even into the edges of The Gardens,” Cassandra said.